An Open Letter

WARNING:

THIS IS GOING TO BE VERY LONG. DO NOT START READING IF YOU DON’T HAVE 10 MINUTES TO SPARE. ^^

Dear Alex,

You know what? Mommy is crying right now. It broke my heart so much when I heard you cry when I had to leave to go to work. I hurriedly turned my back because I didn’t want to see your face that time anymore. I might just break into tears in front of you and I dont want you to see me that way.

I know that I have not been able to play longer with you recently because of my schedule transition and I have to adjust to it again. Yes, I know that you might have been happy with the last toy I bought for you but it’s still better if you will play it with Mama everyday, right?

You know baby this is the worst feeling. Not being able to take care of you because I always have to leave for work. Mama didn’t intend for things to happen this way. This was not what I wanted. This is not what we planned.

I remember, even before you were created, your Papa and I planned for you. We wanted to have you so badly. You are NOT an unwanted baby like some of them might think about you. We felt that you are the missing link in our lives and we thought everything will go smoothly that time.

We were wrong. I WAS WRONG. I thought Mama could endure being your Papa’s loved mistress until the time comes that we can be legally married. Yes, your Papa lied to me at first about his supposedly annuled marriage. Mama wouldn’t have been there in the first place if I knew about this. It was already too late when I learned about it from your grandma. I was already madly in love.

Your Papa was a great man. I loved him with all my heart. He swept me off my feet and was able to convince me to stay with him. I thought I was the strongest young woman in the whole wide world at that time and can never be moved but because of your Papa, I became weak. Your Papa’s UBER smartness and sweetness was really amazing. He was twice my dominance, twice my intelligence, and twice my cunningness. He has a way with everything. He was the most handsome guy for me that time and his charm carries everything. I have other personal reasons why I accepted to come with him, reasons that can’t be written here. In short, I gave in and that’s when we decided to build a family and thought we could live happily ever after.

You probably wouldn’t understand why I had to leave him after everything that I have sacrificed. It just hurt so much living with him knowing that he still has another girlfriend working as a nurse in K.S.A. You’re right again baby. Your Papa lied to me about it again at first. Mama discovered this truth and since then we were never the same. I packed my things everytime we had a major fight and always thought of going back home but he would always stop me. The fifth pack up was our first official break up. You were three months old in my belly then when I walked out of his door, shaking.

It was the same month three years ago when your father fought so hard to win Mama back. He broke up with his nurse girlfriend, he cut his hair, he found a new job and he promised to work something out for our marriage. I became soft again.

After a month I went back together with him trying to live a clean slate. I also thought that was possible. We were trying to put up together shattered pieces of a broken vase. We both realized it was difficult to not bring up anything from the past, not to mention some added minor religion, third party and sex issues. Our fights were never ending. Love waxed cold. There’s not a week that passed that Mama wouldn’t cry while you were still in my tummy.

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When I finally gave birth to you my life became brighter. The fights continued but I have been positive. I felt I was the happiest person in the whole world. I fought for our family to stay together. I stayed where I was but as you continually grew you lit my path and that time Mama was able to see clearer that it’s already time to let it go. After a thousand on and off’s, we separated.

I want you to know baby that I have no regrets in my life today. I am still happy to have met your Papa in my life. I am writing this letter to you now not to give you a negative impression about your Papa and also not to defend myself. I want you to investigate and learn on your own when you grow up. He might have his own version of the story and that’s okay. If not because of him I wouldn’t have you now. I couldn’t imagine my life without you anymore. I might have made wrong decisions in the past but the One above has been very kind to me to continually bless me with a very supportive family and friends who never judged me for what I did in the past.

So this is where we are. We are surviving but Mama feels sad that I miss almost 12 hours of your growing life everyday. My prayer is my only tool left that gives me comfort everytime I cry and my only prayer is your safety and your health alone. I want you to grow up and enjoy life the way Mama is enjoying it now. I want you to understand that Mama might be crying now but I will never lose hope because you are the reason why I live and I promise you I will continue to fight this battle called life.

Thank you baby for your heartfelt hugs and kisses. You don’t know how much it completes Mama’s day everytime you do that. Thank you for accompanying me at church every Sunday morning. You look cute today by the way.

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Published by

emilayskie

Just doing what I got to do.

94 thoughts on “An Open Letter”

  1. awwww… naiyak ako.

    you know what, i am a selective reader and if i see that the article is so mahaba, ikokondisyon ko muna ang sarili at mata ko. but i enjoyed reading your entry kase punung-puno ng emosyon. tsaka nakikita ko how hard your past was. i admire you for living your life to the fullest, i admire you for choosing the path to righteousness. i admire you for being a good mother to alex. and most expecially, i admire you because i see that you are a good person.

    alex is so lucky to have a mother like you.๐Ÿ™‚

    naks, siryus mode ako ngayon ah. hehehe.

    1. Naku napakaganda naman ng first comment. Na-tats kaagad ako. Ikaw talaga sis lagi mo ko nata-tats. Haha..

      Salamat naman sis at pinagtiyagaan mo basahin. Naku haylabshu na talaga. Natutunaw tuloy ako sa admiration mong yan. Sana nga I’m worth it. Hirap talaga ang nakaraan ko. Buti nga ngayon kaya ko na magsulat ng ganito. Malaya na kasi ako ngayon pakiramdam ko.

      1. now i’ve learned to realize that i’m still lucky.. a lot of people have painful experiences, much more devastating than what i have gone through. and they survived. a perfect example is you.

        keep going. God is with you.๐Ÿ™‚

      2. You have always been lucky sis. We should be grateful for our parents who brought us up this way. We need not make our lives complicated. Wag na ako gayahin. Enough na yung experiences ko di ba? Haha..

      3. lam mo npaka inspiring nmn ung story ng life mo.. at bilib ako sau… congrats s baby mo n nging.. foundation ng lakas m. kahit malungkot ka.. icipin mo n lng n lhat ng gingawa m eh para s future ng baby mo.. stay healthy as you are.. para s baby mo.. at pag pray ko rin kau.. pra s health and safety nyo… god bless.

        1. Naku maraming salamat gelmer sa iyong pagbisita at pagbasa nito, lalong-lalo na sa pag-comment.

          Totoo po na sya nga ang source ng lakas ko sa ngayon at makakaasa po kayo na lahat ay gagawin ko para maging maayos ang future naming pareho.

  2. huwaw. may sulat siya sa amo niya! hm. ganito na lang, wag ka na matulog. gising ka 24 hours para makalaro si alex. hehe. biro lang.

    ano, bulol pa rin ba si alex? nakow, kausapin mo ng kausapin. tama tama, may letter na para matuto na makapagbasa!

    seriously, i know alex would understand you when he grows up. for sure, he is not like those other kids na magagalit about your story. alex is abright person. it’s not your fault. it’s not papa’s fault. and, for sure, it’s not alex fault. it’s no one’s fault. anyways, be happy. i know you are. let me say, be happier. you have alex in your life. he will light your path!

    and ow, he really looks amazing on the photo!

    1. Hangkyut noh?

      Sige, sige. Hindi na ako matutulog. Salamat sa advice Ax! Hahaha..

      Buyoy pa rin po sya pero learning na sya ngayon. Ang bilis na ng progress. Ahihi..

      Thank you po Ax. Naku sana nga lumaki syang malawak ang pang-unawa. Mahal na mahal ako ng baby kong yun. Kampi kami nun. Hihi..

      1. Wow kampi kampihan. Wag ka mag-alala sa paglaki ni Alex! Matalinong bata yan gaya mo. Pagdating niya ng age 6, pagblog-in mo na! hehe.

  3. Wow! Very candid letter Milay. Emotionally honest…and trusting. It is moving for me. I wish you all the blessings you need to live meaningfully with Alex. I suspect he will grow up very inquisitive about life in general.

    1. Thank you po DFish! Inquisitive is the right adjective. I really wish he would grow up as such.

      I’m glad you find it moving po. Isang balde luha ko kakasulat nyan eh. Hahaha..

  4. hi tita emi, sensya ka na kung sa malimit mong pagdaan sa site ni payatot ay laging off mo ang iyong music..

    ang haba ng entry mo tita pero ang sarap basahin lalo na kung meron ka nang anak kahit siglemom ka or dad, nakakarelate ako kase isa lang din ang anak ko kaya medyo natats ako dito..ang hirap ng dinaanan mo pero sa palagay ko e ayos ka na ngayon lalo pa nga at may alex ka na sinusubaybayan mo..

    medyo mahirap nga yung 12hrs ng kanyang paglaki e di mo sya kasama pero lahat naman ng ginagawa mo’y para sa kanya di ba? sure ako na mauunawaan ka nya pag marunong na sya umintindi ng salitang responsibilidad..

    ayoko ng umepal sa nakaraan mo kase sabi mo nga ay meron din sempre na istorya ang ex mo kung bakit kayo nauwi sa ganyan di ba? iiwan ko na lang sayo yun, medyo personal kase..saludo ako sayo, sa kabila ng lahat ng yan matatag ka pa rin at yon ay dahil may anak ka..ingat tita emi…

    1. Ay salamat naman po Payatot. Makabagbag damdamin rin ang iyong comment na ito ah. Ramdam kong naramdaman mo nga ang drama ng post na ito.

      Salamat po sa iyong mga mabubuting salita. Tama ka po sa lahat ng iyong mga sinabi. Sana nga ay maunawaan nya iyon paglaki. Salamat din po sa pagrespeto ng aking nakaraan. Nakakabilib po ang mga taong katulad ninyong marunong umintindi.

  5. Wow, this is one heck of an “open letter’, Ems! I don’t normally read long posts pero binasa ko ito ng buo. Written with all honestly and straight from the heart. Thanks for sharing this story with us.

    Glad to know that your past experience made you a much stronger, matured and open-minded lady. Alex is one lucky child to have you as a mom. He is assured of a happy, safe and peaceful future with you. May God continuously bless you and Alex!

    1. Thank you sis. I’m glad you took time to read it. Alam ko busy ka pero nasingit mo ako sa iyong schedule. Aym so tats agen.

      Strong, mature and open-minded. I like all the adjectives you used. Nakakataba ng puso. Sana nga ganyan ako. Salamat sa lahat ng mga sinabi mo sis. Nai-inspire akong magpatuloy ng blogging dahil sa mga taong katulad mo.

  6. Hi Milay,

    I reckon that only someone who has really matured, has learned all the essential lessons and has the resolve to move forward in hope and faith would be able to write a letter as honest as this knowing that the entire world would have a peek at it…

    I honor you for your honesty and for you love… Don’t worry about your boss, he will understand… “Love moves in mysterious ways” ika nga… And I know you have lots of love for him…๐Ÿ™‚

    1. You’re right coolwater. I actually thought a thousand times before I decided to really publish this post. I prepared myself to anything that might happen if the world would learn about our story in brief. I made sure I wouldn’t regret anything in the future for posting something like this.

      Thank you for your kind words. I also feel and pray my boss would understand what I do for him.

  7. malungkot nga yung nakaraan mo, pero for sure magiging masaya ka din in ur future with your very cute angel, good luck tita emilayskie, hehe nakitita na din..
    Godbless!

  8. life is tough. i hope that you remain strong for such a beautiful child. at the same time, i hope that the experience doesn’t give you reason not to trust guys again. one bad apple doesn’t make the whole basket bad.

    1. In the past I almost lost trust with men because of everything that happened but the other guys that I met after him proved that not all of them are the same. In fact I am still in love right now. ^^

      1. it’s a great feeling, isn’t it? to love, to feel wanted, and to feel needed. as long as we keep an open mind, the chances are high that we can find happiness again.

          1. amen. that’s the spirit. right now, i imagine you singing this song to alex. peace.

            Little Wonders
            -Rob Thomas

            let it go,
            let it roll right off your shoulder
            don’t you know
            the hardest part is over
            let it in,
            let your clarity define you
            in the end
            we will only just remember how it feels

            our lives are made
            in these small hours
            these little wonders,
            these twists & turns of fate
            time falls away,
            but these small hours,
            these small hours still remain

            let it slide,
            let your troubles fall behind you
            let it shine
            until you feel it all around you
            and i don’t mind
            if it’s me you need to turn to
            we’ll get by,
            it’s the heart that really matters in the end

            our lives are made
            in these small hours
            these little wonders,
            these twists & turns of fate
            time falls away,
            but these small hours,
            these small hours still remain

            all of my regret
            will wash away some how
            but i can not forget
            the way i feel right now

            in these small hours
            these little wonders
            these twists & turns of fate
            these twists & turns of fate
            time falls away but these small hours
            these small hours, still remain,
            still remain
            these little wonders
            these twists & turns of fate
            time falls away
            but these small hours
            these little wonders still remain.

  9. To The Vicar of emiLayskie:

    Dear Mother E,

    We just finished reading the WARNING Sign .

    We counted the words: There are 19 Words in that WARNING

    THIS IS GOING TO BE VERY LONG. DO NOT START READING IF YOU DONโ€™T HAVE 10 MINUTES TO SPARE.

    (Hey fellow exodians, you’ve better read the warning sign before you proceed)

    Thoughts and so much thoughts came in our brains right after reading the 19 words.

    It starts with…as always…

    Reading – Warning: Rhyming words. Little brains love rhyming words . . ….just as DFISH loves “playi’n with words with magical…MYSTICAL EFFECT in the DESERT:

    What we’re trying to say is “we” heed the warning. We don’t have 10 minutes to spare because as you can see…VICAR OF EMILAYSKE, 10 minutes is already used up for after reading the WARNING.

    We shall return.

    10 minutes reading your article

    10 minutes reading the response

    10 minutes reflection

    10 minutes draft for the comment

    10 seconds before hitting the Send button

    1. 40 days and 40 nights means forever.

      10 minutes means…

      Hehe. 10 minutes nga lang ang alloted sa reading.. that is excluding commenting, reflecting, understanding, whatnots!

  10. hindi ko expect ganito pala ngyari sayo.. hindi ko alam kung ano ba dapat sabihin pero bilib ako sa iyo emily.

    alagaan mo ng mabuti at wag mong pabayaan sarili mo para kay baby emily.

  11. Magandang araw sa isa sa mga masisipag kong bisita๐Ÿ˜€ Thank you for dropping in pala kahit nung wala ako at sa salamat sa nakaka-tats mong mensahe. Heto at nagbabalik ako.

    Binasa ko itong post mo at inulit pang basahin baka kao namamalikmata lang ako at na-i-imagine kong nagbabasa ako ng movie script. Kidding lang, Ms. Milay.

    I hope you will keep this blog for a long time, or save a copy of this letter for your ‘Amo’ to read when he grow up. I am sure he will be very, very proud of you for being his mom. I admire you for your honesty and sincerity and for your courage to go on with life.

    I wish you well, my dear.

    1. Thank you Miss N. Aba pang movie script na pala ang level huh? Ayos ba? Sige try ko ngang career yan. Wahaha..

      I will definitely keep a copy of this letter. In fact I want my little boss to read everything here. Harhar.. It will be his first assignment as soon as he learns how to read. ^^

      I tried to be honest in deed. I thought about it many times before I decided to post. Thank you again Miss N. Will always remember your encouraging words.

  12. EM!!!

    Kahit nakwento mo na tong story na to sa amin, teary eyed pa rin ako sa kwento mo.. God bless mommy Em!! Nakaya mo lahat ng trials sa buhay mo, for sure sisiw na ang mga darating pa. Nandito lang kami for you.. Love you Em!!

    *POWERHUGS*

    -Mhy

    1. Wow naman Mommy aym so tats na naligaw ka rito. Salamat sa pagbasa sa nobela. Hihi..

      I know that you will always be there. Kayong mga true friends ko ang reason bakit matapang ako ngayon. Lalong lalo ka na. Hayso labshu Mommy. Always remember that. ^_^

  13. tita emi, tama si nortehanon..siguro nga mas maganda kung i-save mo yung letter na yan para sa takdang panahon na pede na syang magbasa at umintindi ng mga bagay na dapat malaman nya ay maipabasa mo sa kanya….

    makikita mo na ang ganda ng magiging reaksyon nya kapag nabasa nya to…nga pala bumalik ako kase binasa ko ulit e..salamat ha..! babay muna po

    1. Aba talaga binasa mo ulit? Second time ba? Ang sipag mo talaga Kuya Payatot. Thank you.

      Opo se-save ko talaga tong copy na ito sa lahat ng emails ko para sure na sure na hindi mawawalan ng copy. Hehe.. Gusto ko mabasa ng amo ko.

  14. Milay, kahanga-hanga ang post na ‘to..ang pagsulat ng nakaraan ay mahirap gawin.. pinag-iisipan at minsan lumuluha habang sinusulat.. lumuluha rin kapag may nagcomment..

    sa tingin ko magiging okey kayong dalawa ng iyong boss hanggang sa paglaki๐Ÿ™‚

    with prayers,

  15. im flabbergasted. i dont know what to say
    (kasi wala akong naintindihan… english eh)

    pero kidding aside…
    it just felt so warm knowing how much you love your boy.
    nahipuan mo ako on this article.

    haiz… namiss ko parents ko sa pinas

    1. Mabuti naman at nahipuan kita Epfi. Salamat sa pagbabasa. Sige next time lagyan ko ng Tagalog translation sa bawat sentence. Hehe..

      I’m sure your parents feel the same way about you. Ano pang hinihintay? Tawag na!

      1. Nice! Masunurin ka palang bata. Hehe.. Maalalahanin pa.

        Ang sarap din talagang kausap ang mga mahal natin sa buhay lalo na kapag nasa malayo tayo noh? Ang bait mo namang anak. ^_^

        1. Okay na yun noh. Three weeks marami na rin ikaw magagawa nun dito. Hehe.. Medyo nagmamadali ka nga lang sa lahat ng galaw. Plano mo mabuti. Sayang naman kasi baka di ka na ulit magkaron ng ganyang pagkakataong magbakasyon.

  16. awwww.. this post touched my heart so deeply Emz *hugs* I’m sure Alex will understand when the right time comes.
    God Bless and pray lang kayong 2 lagi…

  17. makikidaan po,hehe..

    makikicomment na din.. =)

    wow..nkakatouch nman ung letter…tsaka ung pic na mag ka embrace sa pagtulog…awwww….sana mabasa nya tong letter na to paglaki nya…=)

    1. Thank you po sa pagdaan at lalong lalo na sa pag-comment. Hangkyut ba? Ninakawan ko sila ng shot habang tulog sila that time. Hehe.. Sisiguraduhin ko pong mababasa nya ito. Salamat ulit!

  18. you know what i like about this entry,it’s when you don’t call/treat alex as a mistake after all the hardships you’ve been through..kudos to you..

    i really love reading entries about open letters to their babies,or families or anything personal…hehe

    1. Thank you. I’m so glad you loved this entry. I really don’t treat him as a mistake. Never will. Actually he’s the only right thing that I might have done in this world.

      Thanks again azul! ^_^

  19. Sis sorry aym leyt. Naiyak naman ako dito putek. I was I guess was an unwanted child. My parents told me they tried to abort me…{naknang bat di pa nila tinuloy lolz}.

    You know what if there’s anything in my past na gusto kong balikan…it would be my childhood days..when my family was still complete..my parents love each other…and that simple thing made everyday worth living. Sometimes at my age..I would still dream of that no matter how impossible it may seem.

    Your boy is just damn lucky…and I am proud of you because of that.

    *mwaaah*

    1. Naku talaga. Kung natuloy yun siguro sis sobrang lungkot nila dahil wala silang napakaganda at napakabait na anak na tulad mo. Pero ang tapang naman ng parents mo for admitting that they tried to get rid of you. Hhmm..

      It’s really good to hear an opinion coming from a very special person like you admitting that that was your past. I’m sure both your parents didn’t want things to end up like that but I can just say they are so blessed to still have you as their daughter who doesn’t go astray and continues to live life as normally as you can. I’m sure all your honors and achievements make them so proud to have kept and raised you as a child.

      Thank you for dropping by and for shedding some tears. Aym so tats talaga kapag napapabisita ka rito.

  20. Haaay, nakakaiyak naman ‘to, and I felt the emotions entwined in every word of this post.

    I’m sure when your bebe grow up, he will completely understand teh things that you did, na ang lahat ay ginagawa mo for him to have a good life.

    You’re blessed with a beautiful little boy, but he is more blessed for having a mother like you.

    Godbless you! *mwahhhh

    1. That’s so nice to read Joycee. Sana nga he would feel blessed to have me. Sarap siguro marinig yun from him.

      Naisip ko tuloy ano kaya reaction nya kung mabasa nya lahat to pati mga comments mo. Naku buhay pa kaya wordpress ko pagdating ng mga panahong yun? Hahah..

      Buti naman sis di ka masyado naluha. Di ko kasi nahanda yung mga tissue. Salamat sa iyong mga matatamis na salita. Nakakataba ng puso.

      1. Di ako iyakin sis, hinde talaga pramis hihi.

        Itabi mo tong post na ‘to sis, pati mga comments, or ipaprint mo, para if someday eh biglang nawala ang internet sa mundo naten (dahil lahat ay may katapusan) at least mapapabasa mo sa kanya ‘to at malalaman nya how much you love and care for him.

        *mwahugggs sister!๐Ÿ™‚

      2. Ay uu tama ka sis. Sige isulat kamay ko na lang lahat dito pati comments. Nyahaha.. Joke po.

        La kasi ako printer dito sa bahay. Sige makabili na nga. That’s a nice idea.

  21. Nagbabalik. One more compliment: Alex’s eyes are probing projecting a certain depth (with some tinge of loneliness) in him. Coupled with your wise attention to technical details – depth and details – he will make his own mark in the world when he grows up. My prayer.

    1. Wow. That’s a very nice observation. I really find his eyes cute although I must admit there’s a little loneliness factor to it. I can actually predict that he will be a very smart guy just like his father. I am a lover of technical details but his father is a book worm and a walking encyclopedia. Certainly hope so. Hehe.. Thanks for dropping by again Mr. DFish.

  22. awww. tissue please. nagnonosebleed na ako. joke. honestly, nakakatouch ang entry na ito.
    balang araw, maiinitindihan din ni bebi mo ang mga bagay-bagay kung bakit dapat mong gawin ang mga bagay na yun…
    sana maging mabait at matalinong bata siya.

    apir!

    1. Hahaha.. Natuwa naman ako dun Eloiski. Tissue for nosebleed pala. Hahaha..

      Sana nga maging mabait. Naku. Lahat pa naman daw ng ginawa natin sa ating parents ay ibabalik din sa atin ng ating mga anak. Parang kinabahan tuloy ako. Hehe..

      Dito ngayon yung amo ko. Pinakita ko na nga ang blog post ko. Sabi nya lang sa akin eh “Huh?”

  23. na-miss ko tuloy bigla ang mga bebis ko. i got 2 and since i came here in singapore, andami ko ng namiss sa childhood life nila considering na 1 year pa lang ako dito.

    you’re a good mom and i can see that your alex will grow up a better person. i wish you both enough courage and strength to win life’s battles๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Thank you Miss Enjoy. I can imagine how hard it is for you out there without your babies. Naku sa totoo lang hindi ko kakayanin ang ganyan. Mas nakakabilib po ang mga mothers na katulad ninyo na kayang magtiis na mawalay sa pamilya, lalong lalo na sa mga anak, makapag-provide lang ng magandang kinabukasan para sa kanila.

      Sana nga po maging mabuting bata sya paglaki. Salamat po sa encouraging words.

  24. Ease your worried mind, dear friend. You have your kid and she will always vave and love you. Someday, she will grow up to be a very smart and sensitive kid and she will understand. Just give her all the love you can give in the best way you know how and things will be just fine. Don’t worry. Take care always.

    1. That was really inspiring. You always say the best words Panaderos. I guess it comes from experience?

      I really hope he does. That’s what I have been doing. Some people mistake how I treat him with pampering. I explain to them that it’s just how every child should be treated, full of love, care and sweetness.

  25. Please Please delete the first comment. It was a mistake. Hi! ang masasabi ko lang after reading your entry…you are strong! Salute sa mga palabang kababaihang katulad mo. You are inspiration…thanks for sharing…

  26. kahit ano pang sabihin mo sa disclaimer mo, babasahin ko talaga ito. trip na trip ko yang mga letter ng mga parents sa anak nila. and syempre, natapos ako na parang may bato sa lalamunan at sisinghot-singhot ng sipon.รผ

    this letter, as all open letters to little children are, touched me much. full of love talaga! hamo, I join you in your little prayer for Alex.

    God bless you, Emily!

    1. Bato sa lalamunan at “hamo,” hangkyut naman nun. Ang galing. May natutunan na naman akong bagong terms sa iyo Kuya Utoy. Uu nga noh. Parang bato sa lalamunan sya kapag napapaiyak. Magamit nga yan.

      Alam mo Kuya Utoy bilib ako sa mga taong tulad mo na nage-exert ng effort para magbasa ng mga ganito. Sa totoo lang isang baldeng luha ang umagos sa pagsulat ko lang nito. LOL. Kapag binabasa ko ulit sya napapaluha pa rin ako minsan. Haha.. Iyakin pa naman ako. Hahaha..

      Thank you po sa prayers mo Kuya Utoy. Really appreciate it.

  27. napadaan ako at nakibasa. nakakaiyak naman.๐Ÿ˜ฅ may ilan rin akong kaibigan na may similar experiences. haay. speechless pa rin ako.

    basta, napahanga mo ako. for the determination, optimism, love..i salute you! siguro nga, madalas, kailangan mo iwan ang anak mo, pero, kahit bata pa sya, alam ko, naiintindihan ka nya. para sa kanya rin naman ang ginagawa mo.

    super belated happy mother’s day!๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Thank you po sis. Kakatuwa naman dahil napabasa ka rito. Salamat po sa pagdalaw mo.

      Ganun nga po ang lagi kong pinagdadasal. Nasa ay lumaki sya ng malawak ang pang-unawa sa mga bagay-bagay. Sana nga.. Sana..

      Super belated happy mother’s day din sa iyong Mommy bipolarsisa! ^^

  28. wow! ngayon lang ako napadaan dito and sobrang na-touch na ako agad. Ang ganda ng open letter mo…at ang strong mo. Bow ako sa’yo. Your son is very lucky to have you as his mom๐Ÿ™‚

  29. hello ems, sure staying away for 12 hours from him seems to be 48 years for you, I am just wondering how OFW moms will write their letters to their sons and daughters in the Philippines? What do you think?

  30. haiz..nakaka sad ang sulat mo kay bossing ate..
    pero alam ko maiintindihan ka rin nya lalo na ngayong lumalaki na sya..mas nasasad ako kasi ang chikiting ko di man lang nila nakapiling ang nanay nila dahil kailangan mag trabaho sa ibang lugar..kami ng lola at lolo nya na lang muna ang nakakalaro nila un nga lang..baka pag balik ng ate ko di na sya kilala ..pero pag tumatawag si ate pinaparinig na lang namin ung boses ng ate ko sknila ng kahit paano maramdaman din ng mga bata at ng ate ko ang presence ng isat isa..nakakalungkot talaga pag di magkakasama..i hope na dis coming christmas kumpleto kami..last yr kasi wala ang ate ko..

    nag birthday din ang mga bata ng wala si ate..mahirap talaga pero kailangan..
    sayo ate..maswerte pa din at nakakasama mo si bossing..na nakakatuwa at ang cute talaga sa picture…sana makita ko rin sya ehhe..

    1. Hay naku nakakalungkot talaga kapag hiwalay ang nanay sa mga anak. Sa totoo lang hindi ako naniniwala sa ganyang setup eh. Sana talaga hindi mangyari sa amin ang ganyan ng baby ko. Di ko maimagine ang buhay ko ng malayo sa kanya.

      Sana nga magkasama na sila mag-iina. Mahirap kasi na lumalaki ang mga bata na malayo sa ina nila. At least nandyan ka pa para tumayong nanay sa kanila di ba? Swerte sila may tita silang katulad mo.

  31. Hi sis! I found your blog and this is the first post that I’ve read. Can’t say much but I want to salute you for being the best mom to Alex. Being a parent is not an easy task, no one can claimed to be perfect in this role, but as long as you have the heart to love unconditionally, able to sacrifice and always be with them all the way,then that’s it. Grabe ha, naiyak ako dito…

    1. Hi sis! Napaluha ka ba? Huhu.. Sandamakmak din na luha ang tumulo nung sinusulat ko ito. Pero ngayon nakakatawa na ako. Hehe.. Happy times! Thank you for visiting here sis and for the inspirational words. Nakakataba ng puso. Teka makabisita nga rin sa e-bahay mo. ^_^

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